I find myself...

I am sitting here laughing...
parked two cars down, you cheating on me...and I see you.
I want to hear the new excuse...
I find myself following you everyday, just to see what the new one looks like, and to hear the new excuse.

I am throwing up...
I lie here next to you, and cringe just thinking about all the nasty people you have been with... How their dirt and filth is all in between our marital sheets..
I find myself sick to my stomach when I look at you, and the things you do to me...

I am on a ramp page...
I have thrown all of your things in the trash and in bags, all over the front lawn, Bottles of colognes burned and all of your photos are gone...
I find myself getting rid of everything that is you, I used to get sick when I saw you now its the mere scent of you...

I am crying...
not of sorrow, but of joy... made room for a man of God...and threw away a boy
I find myself shouting, and praising God...For that reason only I sob.

I am different...
Everyday I wake up to clean sheets, and Joy in my heart..
Work outs and a brand new start... My own business, and my schedule only to follow...No longer smelling your unfaithfulness, no more lies do I have to swallow...
I find myself looking in the mirror and loving me, no longer dealing with mess, or a person who cant really stand me. I have a God upstairs that looks down on me with Real LOVE...Nothing can shake my faith, I feel his strength even from above. See God says to Delight yourself in him and he will give me the desires of my heart. So much time wasted I don't know where to start. God is my everything, and you are just a faint memory. You are the mere image of what a man isn't supposed to be. I am happy, I am shouting and there's nothing you can do. Because, Today my past mistake...I find myself without you....