Garbage day.

SO far Gone I am lost...
Didn't know how much taking a wrong turn would cost...
As I think back to how I was living...
All the things and people I was befriending...

It has Officially changed me...
To a woman I no longer recognize...
Despised by my own reflection...
Depression, is not only what I have sunk in...
Blue, is not the color of my eyes I see...
deep down I drown in the bitter pit of me...

The life I wished, has come and gone...
from men I've kissed and drugged along...
Unbearable is what they have become to be...
Unbreakable is what I have shown of me...

I was taken...broken down to the core...
Life's journey scars, and wisdom sores...
I have leaped into bounds of different destinies...
I have slept beyond time's destiny...

A new alarm clock, has awaken me...
A LIFE NO LONGER MY OWN...
I have chosen another to lead in this skin...
A life of joy due to many repentance of sin...

I cry out to him,like a woman in labor...
tapered down like a cut, merely vapor...
he said I brought you back down to your essence...
back to my presence...
my glow...effervecent...

I have stolen a key God,
and I am no longer worthy to unlock the door that it belongs too...
But you, God have to Guide me thru...
You are not done with me I Hope...

With his spirit...in me... I choked...
and all the bile, and mess, stress of each year and day came out...
I shout, because I have victory now...
All I need to do is believe it...

thru God's spirit, I can achieve it...
Why God, have I gone so far away...
was it because I was lusting astray...

God I ask you, to please draw near,
I am alone and debted to you in fear...
God I am no longer welcomed into peace...
But with you Lord, I will meet...

God help restore my love and faith...
wash the bitterness from my tongue so that I can no longer taste...
God help me. Have mercy again...
for I am not only your child, I am a returning friend...